Bang Bang, We're Beautiful and Dirty Rich
by ShylahMargera
Summary: What happens when the world's biggest pop star, Elli Valentine, admits that she's head over heels for Bam Margera on national televison? Well, he forgets all about his marriage to Missy and starts chasing after Elli, that's what.
1. Ellen Degeneres

Chapter 1:

Ellison Brewer, better know as Elli Valentine, sat back in her limo seat and sighed heavily. The passed few months had been show after show and she was tired. She wasn't really in the mood to be awake at seven in the morning to go do an interview, but she would just have to deal with it.

The limo arrived at the sound stage where the line of screaming fans were already waiting for her. Sighing again, her door opened, and she stepped out onto the curb. She plastered on a huge smile and made her way towards the double doors making sure she signed a few autographs and took a few pictures as she went.

As soon as she was through the doors, she was wisked off to hair, makeup, and wardrobe. Apparently the Chanel summer dress she had put on that morning was not enough for national television, and she was forced into a rather sassy Dolce and Gabbana number.

She slipped on her extra tall heels and made her way to the green room where she was to meet Ellen before the show.

---- ----- ----- ---- ----

Bam walked down the stairs from his bedroom yawning. For some reason, he hadn't been able to fall back asleep after Missy had left for the gym. Entering the living room, he started laughing when he realized that Novak was watching the Ellen Degeneres Show.

'Dude, what the fuck?' Bam asked laughing.

'What?' Novak asked as if it was normal for him to be awake at nine in the morning watching the popular talk show.

'Please tell me there was nothing else on.' Bam said sinking onto the leather couch.

'That hot ass girl's on today.' Novak said pointing to the screen.

'What hot ass girl?' Bam asked wracking his brain.

'You know! That Elli Valentine chick!' Novak said.

'No, I don't actually.' Bam said laughing slightly.

'Give it up, for Elli Valentine!' Ellen screamed drawing both of the boy's attention's to the screen.

A catchy pop tune started up and he remembered hearing it come on the Top 40 the other day in the car with Missy. A gorgeous blonde appeared on the screen. He didn't pay any attention to the lyrics, which Novak was singing. He just watched her dance and sing her out. He was amazed at her talent and her passion for the stage.

After the song the crowd went crazy and Ellen welcomed her to have a seat with her.

The two chatted and laughed a few times, talking about Elli's career and what not. Bam was just watching the blonde. He couldn't take his eyes off her, and he couldn't figure out why.

'Now Elli, a lot of people are buzzing that you have a celebrity crush.' Ellen said.

'Yes.' Elli said giggling. 'I do actually.'

'Who is it?'

'No one would ever guess this....but I have the biggest crush on Bam Margera.' She said giggling.

'The guy from Jackass?' Ellen asked.

'Yes.' Elli said laughing with her.

Bam's mouth formed into a smirk.

'Look's like you got a chance there, Life Partner.' Novak said switching the channel. 'I would act on it too.'


	2. Award

Chapter 2:

'Elli!' Elli rolled over to find her manager Helen drawing back the shades of her hotel room and letting the sunlight pour in. 'You need to wake up.'

'What for?' Elli moaned.

'We need to catch a flight to Finland right away.' She said bustiling around the room. 'You've asked to perfrom at the European VMA's. They're being held in Helsinki this year.'

'Are you kidding?' Elli asked sitting up.

'No! And you're doing to song's so we need to get out there and make good use of the stage.' Helen said leaving the room.

Elli fell back onto her down pillows. At least she could sleep on the flight over.

* * *

The flight over had been very relaxing. Ellison had finally been able to watch her Viva la Bam DVD's. It had been months since the last time she had gotten a good laugh, and her movies supplied her with just that. She had even had a chance to catch up on Radio Bam. A few weeks had gone by since she had last had an hour to listen to Bam's voice.

Once landed, Helen pushed her towards the front doors where a limo was waiting. Being surounded by paparazzi and fans slowed her down but they were soon on their way to the venue. Helen began telling her what she was going to be doing. Elli, however, had already drowned her out. She was too busy watching the fading scenery.

'...And then the second half will be with some rock band called H.I.M.' Helen said scrunching her nose.

'Wait, what?' Elli asked.

'You're going to do a song of your own...and then perform with the band H.I.M.' Helen reexplained.

'Seriously!' Elli asked getting excited. Maybe this concert was going to be worth it after all.

* * *

Bam made his way to his reserved seat dragging Missy along by the hand. They took their seats and Novak sat with them.

'I'm excited for this show.' Novak said. Bam rolled his eyes. Novak was always excited to be in the public eye. The three of them made small talk for twenty minutes when the lights dimed and a catchy beat began to play.

The stage filled with fog and Bam smirked recognizing the song as Elli Valentine's hit single. He was secretly happy to be seeing her live and in person. She put on an amazing perfromance and had the crowd screaming wild by the end of the song. She stood with a triumphet smile as the lights dimmed down and blue lights started to swril the stage.

A pretty sound filled the air while she stood there smiling and breathing. Then she began to sing.

'We are so young

Our lives have just begun

It's already we are considering

Escape from...this world....'

Bam's eyes went wide. He never ever expected her to sing a H.I.M. song.

'And we've waited for so long

For this moment to come

We're so anxcious to be together...

Together...in death....

Woah, woah...'

Bam noticed Burton was standing by a piano in the back at this point playing the signature keys to the song.

'Yeah...Baby join me in death....

Baby join me in death...'

At this point the guitar and drums kicked in and Bam found himself smiling wide when his old friend Ville walked on the stage and joined Elli. They hugged and Ville began to sing.

Elli and Ville had managed to turn the song into a beautiful duet and Bam loved every minute of it. And so did the crowd. They were going crazy when Ville and Elli hugged at the end and walked of stage.

Half way through the show, Bam made his way backstage to give out the award for best breakout female. He was excited. He picked up his envelope and made his way out to the stage.

* * *

'Announcing the award for best breakout female, give it up, for Bam Margera!'

Elli's heart stopped. She knew she was up for that award and from what Helen had said, she had a pretty good chance of winning too. And now she had to accept it from him of all people. She couldn't hear a word he was saying over her heartbeat. She was able to relax herself as the other nominees played on the screen.

'Alright!' Bam said a moment later. 'And the winner is...' He ripped open the envelope and giggled. 'She played a damn good performance with Ville earlier...Elli Valentine!'

Her hit song started blasting over the speakers as she hugged Helen and then made her way for the stage. This was not how she had pictured meeting Bam for the first time, but she figured it was better then not.

He was smiling as she approached him. 'Congratgulations.' He said hugging her and handing her the trophey.

She walked to the microphone in complete shock over the award and hug from Bam. 'Wow.' The crowd laughed as she tried to think of the right words to say. 'Um...I just say...thank to my parents, my manager, my whole team, Bam, and my fans....for making all my dreams come true. I love you guys!' She turned away from the mic and followed Bam off stage.

'Me?' He asked laughing.

'What?'

'You said you wanted to thank me.'

'Oh, I just meant for giving me the award. And I'm a huge fan.' She explained.

'I see.' He said chucking. 'Well you're welcome.'

'Elli! Bam!' They both turned to see Ville walking towards them. 'I'm so glad you two have met. We all have to go out tonight for a celebritory drink on me!'

Chapter 3:

'I really don't feel like going.' Missy whined as Bam pulled her towards Corona Bar.

'Then go back to the hotel.' Bam said sghing heavily.

'Fine.' She said giving him a kiss and heading to the hotel they had just exited.

'You gonna hook up with Elli now?' Novak asked wiggling his eyebrows?

'No. I'm not going to hook up with Elli.' Bam said sighing. 'I'm going to get to know her.'

'That's the hard way.' Novak explained while Bam rolled his eyes and they walked into the bar.

They found Ville who was sitting at the Bar with a glass of water in his hand. Bam was happy to see his friend was taking the sober route nicely.

'Is Elli coming?' Bam asked taking a seat next to him and ordering a Red Bull and Vodka.

'She said she was.' Ville said taking a drag of his cigarette.

* * *

Elli walked down the street in Helsinki and prayed this was the right bar. She wanted to get inside before someone noticed her. Ville had said something about a Corona Bar and she smiled when she saw Bam and Novak sitting with Ville at the bar.

She took a deep breath and made her way towards the boys.

'Elli!' Ville called in his adorable accent.'Come here, Love.'

'Hi!' She said smiling wide. 'Sorry I'm late. I couldn't get rid of my manager.'

'It's fine.' Ville smiled making room for her at the bar.

'This is my friend Novak.' Bam said pointing to his compainion.

'It's nice to meet you.' Elli smiled.

She ordered herself a drink and settled down for her night with the boys.

* * *

Bam discovered that Elli was the most amazing person he had ever met in a matter of a few hours.

He couldn't help but smile as she told stories of her crazy stage mother and trips around the globe.

'What about you?' She asked. 'What was your childhood like?'

'Mine?' Bam chuckled. 'Nothing like yours. I was the only one pushing for my dreams. Well, and then Ape and Phil jumped in.'

Elli giggled a little bit.

'I mean, I wasn't modeling at the age of three.' He said. 'Actually I wasn't even skating...'

'What were you doing?'

'Being an asshole.' He said smiling and making her laugh. 'You know...we should work on something together.'

'Like what?' Elli asked.

'A video or something.'

'You know...' Elli said smirking. 'I am looking for a director for my next music video and I'm a huge fan of your work.'

'Perfect!' Bam said smiling and pulling out his phone. 'Put your number in here.'

She did as she was told and he found he was glad he now had an excuse to get her number.

'Well, I should probably head back.' She said standing up. 'I have an early flight to Paris, but I'll call you in a few weeks?'

'Definatly.' Bam said smiling.

* * *

Elli said goodbye to the boys and got a taxi back to her hotel. She smiled wide knowing she would be working with Bam in a few weeks. That was the one thing she had always dreamed of doing since she had first seen him on that Toy Machine DVD of her brother's.

'Aren't you Elli Valentine?' The cabbie asked as she went to hand him money.

'Yes...' She said.

'No need to pay then, Love. Just sign this.' He said handing her a piece of paper and a pen.


	3. Drinks

Chapter 3:

'I really don't feel like going.' Missy whined as Bam pulled her towards Corona Bar.

'Then go back to the hotel.' Bam said sghing heavily.

'Fine.' She said giving him a kiss and heading to the hotel they had just exited.

'You gonna hook up with Elli now?' Novak asked wiggling his eyebrows?

'No. I'm not going to hook up with Elli.' Bam said sighing. 'I'm going to get to know her.'

'That's the hard way.' Novak explained while Bam rolled his eyes and they walked into the bar.

They found Ville who was sitting at the Bar with a glass of water in his hand. Bam was happy to see his friend was taking the sober route nicely.

'Is Elli coming?' Bam asked taking a seat next to him and ordering a Red Bull and Vodka.

'She said she was.' Ville said taking a drag of his cigarette.

--- ----- ------- ---- ---- -

Elli walked down the street in Helsinki and prayed this was the right bar. She wanted to get inside before someone noticed her. Ville had said something about a Corona Bar and she smiled when she saw Bam and Novak sitting with Ville at the bar.

She took a deep breath and made her way towards the boys.

'Elli!' Ville called in his adorable accent.'Come here, Love.'

'Hi!' She said smiling wide. 'Sorry I'm late. I couldn't get rid of my manager.'

'It's fine.' Ville smiled making room for her at the bar.

'This is my friend Novak.' Bam said pointing to his compainion.

'It's nice to meet you.' Elli smiled.

She ordered herself a drink and settled down for her night with the boys.

---- ---- ----- ---- ----

Bam discovered that Elli was the most amazing person he had ever met in a matter of a few hours.

He couldn't help but smile as she told stories of her crazy stage mother and trips around the globe.

'What about you?' She asked. 'What was your childhood like?'

'Mine?' Bam chuckled. 'Nothing like yours. I was the only one pushing for my dreams. Well, and then Ape and Phil jumped in.'

Elli giggled a little bit.

'I mean, I wasn't modeling at the age of three.' He said. 'Actually I wasn't even skating...'

'What were you doing?'

'Being an asshole.' He said smiling and making her laugh. 'You know...we should work on something together.'

'Like what?' Elli asked.

'A video or something.'

'You know...' Elli said smirking. 'I am looking for a director for my next music video and I'm a huge fan of your work.'

'Perfect!' Bam said smiling and pulling out his phone. 'Put your number in here.'

She did as she was told and he found he was glad he now had an excuse to get her number.

'Well, I should probably head back.' She said standing up. 'I have an early flight to Paris, but I'll call you in a few weeks?'

'Definatly.' Bam said smiling.

--- ----- ---- --- ---- ---

Elli said goodbye to the boys and got a taxi back to her hotel. She smiled wide knowing she would be working with Bam in a few weeks. That was the one thing she had always dreamed of doing since she had first seen him on that Toy Machine DVD of her brother's.

'Aren't you Elli Valentine?' The cabbie asked as she went to hand him money.

'Yes...' She said.

'No need to pay then, Love. Just sign this.' He said handing her a piece of paper and a pen.


	4. Boxes

Chapter 4:

'It looks so good!' Elli screamed jumping on Bam and hugging him. The two had become very close in the last three months.

'You really like it? I wasn't sure about the whole color effect we used.' Bam explained looking at the video.

'No, it's great. It's just what I was hoping for.' She said kissing him on the cheek.

'I'm glad.' He said laughing. 'So I was thinking tonight, we could get some blue lights for the stage and maybe purple.'

Bam continued to explain what he was going to do with the stage for the small show Elli had agreed to play at the Note.

'All I really need is a mic.' She said standing in front of the microphone stand.

'Well, we want it to look good!' He said making her laugh.

Soon her band arrived and they began rehersal. Bam left to go get ready for the night ahead.

He arrived at his house and walked into find boxes by the door. 'What the fuck?....' He mumbled. He could hear scuffling coming from his bedroom on the floor above so he made his way up there. Missy was in the closet throwing her clothes into boxes.

'Miss?' He asked.

'Get the fuck away from me.' She said not looking at him.

'What are you doing?' He asked.

'I'm leaving you.' She explained. 'I want a divorce.'

'What the fuck did I do?'

'I see the way you look at her everyday Bam. You barely even pay attention to me anymore. In the passed three months, we've done one thing together and that was go to your parents house for dinner.' She said sighing. 'I know you're going to be happier with Elli. I'm not going to hold you back anymore.'

'Missy.' He said shaking his head.

'No, Bam.' She said sighing. 'Wake up and realize, you love her. And I can't change that.'


	5. Concert

Chapter 5:

Bam walked into the Note feeling a little depressed. He couldn't believe Missy was actually filing.

'Dude, you're late.' Novak said handing him a beer.

'I know, Missy's filing...' He sighed.

'Who gives a fuck?! You have a hot ass blonde on the stage singing love songs about you, and you're worrying over a greasy string bean you barely ever loved?' Novak said.

'Love songs?' Bam mumbled to himself as Novak walked off into the crowd he turned to watch Elli's performance. Three songs in Bam realized that underneath the catchy beats and the sexy dances moves, the lyrics were about him.

Elli's songs were about forbidean love, secret one night stands, falling for someone you could never have, and working your courage up to go after the man of your dreams.

He smirked as she thanked the audiance and walked off the stage. He decided to ambush her in the green room. Chugging his last few sips, he placed the bottle on the bar and began pushing his way through the crowd. He made his way to the door and opened it up. She was on the phone with someone, rolling her eyes. She smiled seeing him.

'I'll call you tomorrow.' She said hanging up. 'Sorry. My sister.'

'It's fine.' He said all the sudden feeling like this was the first time he had ever admitted his feelings to a girl. 'I gotta talk to you.'

'Okay.' She said smiling and sitting down.

'Missy and I are getting a divorce.' He figured there was no point in jumping around the bush.

'Oh my God!' She said. Her eyes went wide and her hands flew up to her mouth. 'I'm so sorry!'

Bam started laughing thinking she was just too cute. 'It's a good thing.'

'It is?' She asked looking confused.

'Yes.' He said leaning closer to her. 'Because now I can be with you.'

He leaned all the way in and pressed his lips against hers. He pulled away after a minute and looked at her. 'Unless you don't want to.'

She smirked and started laughing. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer kissing him hard.


End file.
